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page 1

1Maudline. Haue you playd ouer all your old Lessons o the
2Virginals?

3Moll. Yes.

4Maudl. Yes, you are a dull Mayd alate;
5me thinkes you had need haue somewhat to
6quicken your Greene Sicknesse, doe you weepe? A Husband.
7Had not such a peece of Flesh been ordayned, what
8had vs Wiues been good for? To make Sallets, or else cryd
9vp and downe for Sampier. To see the difference of these
10Seasons, when I was of your youth, I was lightsome, and
11quicke, two yeeres before I was married. You fit for a
12Knightsbed, drowsie browd, dull eyed, drossie sprited,
13I hold my life you haue forgot your Dauncing: When
14was the Dauncer with you?

page 2

15Moll. The last weeke.

16Maudl. Last weeke, when I was of your bord, he
17mist me not a night, I was kept at it, I tooke delight to
18learne, and he to teach me, prittie browne Gentleman, he
19tooke pleasure in my company, but you are dull, nothing
20comes nimbly from you, you daunce like a Plummers
21Daughter, and deserue two thousand pound in Lead to
22your marriage, and not in Gold-Smithes Ware.
23

24 Enter Yellow-hammer.
25

26Yell. Now what's the din betwixt Mother and Daughter,
27ha?

28Maudl. Faith small, telling your Daughter Mary of
29her Errors.

30Yell. Errors, nay the Citie cannot hold you Wife, but
31you must needs fetch words from Westminster, I ha done
32I faith, has no Atturneys Clarke beene here a late, and
33changed his Halfe-Crowne-peece his Mother sent him, or
34rather cozend you with a guilded Two-pence, to bring the
35word in fashion, for her faults or crackes, in dutie and
36obedience, terme em eeue so sweet Wife. As there is no
37Woman made without a Flaw, your purest Lawnes haue
38Frayes, and Cambrickes Brackes.

39Maudl. But 'tis a Husband sowders vp all Crackes.

40Moll. What is he come Sir?

41Yell , S^r Walters come.
42He was met at Holbourne Bridge, and in his company,
43a proper faire young Gentlewoman, which I guesse
44by her red Hayre, and other ranke descriptions,
45to be his landed Neece, brought out of Wales,
46which Tim our Sonne (the Cambridge Boy) must marry.
47'Tis a match of S^r Walters owne making
48to bind vs to him, and our Heires for euer.

49Mandl. We are honord then, if this Baggage would be
50humble, and kisse him with deuotion when he enters.
51I cannot get her for my life

page 3

52to instruct her Hand thus, before and after,
53which a Knight will looke for, before and after.
54I haue told her still, 'tis the wauing of a Woman
55dose often moue a Man, and preuailes strongly.
56But sweet, ha you sent to Cambridge,
57(has Tim word an't?)

58Yell. Had word iust the day after when you sent him the
59Siluer Spoone to eat his Broath in the Hall, amongst the
60Gentlemen Commoners.

61Maudl. O 'twas timely.
62

63 Enter Porter.
64

65Yell. How now?

66Port. A Letter from a Gentleman in Cambridge.

67Yell. O one of Hobsons Porters, thou art well-come.
68I told thee Maud we should heare from Tim . Amantissimis
69charissimisq~, ambobus parentibus patri & matri.

70Maudl. What's the matter?

71Yell. Nay by my troth, I know not, aske not me,
72he's growne too verball, this Learning is a great Witch.

73Maudl. Pray let me see it, I was wont to vnderstand him.
74Amantissimus charissimus , he has sent the Carryers Man
75he sayes: ambobus parentibus , for a paire of Boots:
76patri & matri , pay the Porter, or it makes no matter.

77Port. Yes by my faith Mistris, there's no true construction
78in that, I haue tooke a great deale of paines, and come
79from the Bell sweating. Let me come to'te, for I was a
80Schollar forty yeers ago, 'tis thus I warrant you: Matri , it
81makes no matter: ambobus parentibus , for a paire of Boots:
82patri , pay the Porter: amantissimis charissimis , he's the Carryers
83Man, and his name is Sims , and there he sayes true,
84forsooth my name is Sims indeed, I haue not forgot all my
85learning. A Money matter, I thought I should hit on't.

86Yell. Goe thou art an old Fox, ther's a Tester for thee.

87Port. If I see your Worship at Goose Faire, I haue a
88Dish of Birds for you.

page 4

89Yell. Why dost dwell at Bow?

90Port. All my life time Sir I could euer say Bo, to a
91Goose. Farewell to your Worship.
92Exit Porter.

93Yell. A merry Porter.

94Maudl. How can he choose but be so, comming with
95Cambridge Letters from our Sonne Tim ?

96Yell. What's here, maximus diligo , Faith I must to my
97learned Counsell with this geere, 'twill nere be discernd
98else.

99Maudl. Goe to my Cousen then, at Innes of Court.

100Yell. Fye they are all for French, they speake no Latine.

101Maudl. The Parson then will doe it.
102

103 Enter a Gentleman with a Chayne.
104

105Yell. Nay he disclaimes it, calles Latine Papistry, he will
106not deale with it. What ist you lacke Gentleman?

107Gent. Pray weigh this Chayne.
108

109 Enter Sir Walter Whorehound, Welsh Gentlewoman,
110and Dauy Dahanna.
111

112S. Walt. Now Wench thou art well-come to the Heart
113of the Citie of London.

114W. Gent. Dugat a whee.

115S. Walt. You can thanke me in English if you list,

116W. Gent. I can Sir simply.

117S. Walt. 'Twill serue to passe Wench, 'twas strange that
118I should lye with thee so often, to leaue thee without English,
119that were vnnaturall, I bring thee vp to turne thee
120into Gold Wench, and make thy fortune shine like your
121bright Trade, a Gold-Smithes Shop sets out a Citie Mayd.
122Dauy Dahanna , not a word.

123Dau. Mum, mum Sir.

124S. Walt. Here you must passe for a pure Virgine.

125Dau. Pure Welch Virgine, she lost her Maydenhead in
126Brekenocke-Shire.

page 5

127S. Walt. I heare you mumble Dauy .

128Dau. I haue Teeth Sir, I need not mumble yet this forty
129yeeres.

130S. Walt. The Knaue bites plaguely.

131Yell. What's your price Sir?

132Gent. A hundred pound Sir.

133Yell. A hundred markes the vtmost, 'tis not for me else.
134What S^r Walter Whorehound ?

135Moll. O Death.
136Exit Moll.

137Maudl.     Why Daughter.
138Faith the Baggage
139a bashfull Girle Sir, these young things are shamefast,
140besides you haue a presence sweet S^r Walter ,
141able to daunt a Mayd brought vp i'the Citie,
142
143    Enter Mary.
144
145    A braue Court Spirit makes our Virgines quiuer,
146and kisse with trembling Thighes. Yet see she comes Sir.

147S. Walt. Why how now prettie Mistris, now I haue
148caught you. What can you iniure so your time to strey thus
149from your faithfull Seruant.

150Yell. Pish, stop your words good Knight, 'twill make
151her blush else, which wound to high for the Daughters of
152the Freedome, honor, and faithfull Seruant, they are complements
153for the Worthy's of Whitehall, or Greenwitch,
154eene plaine, sufficient, subsidy words serues vs Sir. And is
155this Gentlewoman your worthy Neece?

156S. Walt. You may be bold with her on these termes, 'tis
157she Sir, Heire to some nineteene Mountaines.

158Yell. Blesse vs all, you ouer-whelme me Sir with loue
159and riches.

160S. Walt. And all as high as Pauls .

161Dau. Here's worke I faith.

162S. Walt. How sayest thou Dauy ?

163Dau. Higher Sir by farre, you cannot see the top of
164em.

165Yell. What Man? Maudline salute this Gentlewoman,
166our Daughter if things hit right.

page 6

167 Enter Tuchwood Iunior.
168

169T.I. My Knight with a brace of Footmen,
170is come and brought vp his Ewe Mutton,
171to find a Ram at London, I must hasten it,
172or else picke a Famine, her Bloods mine,
173and that's the surest. Well Knight, that choyse spoy
174is onely kept for me.

175Moll. Sir?

176T.I. Turne not to me till thou mayst lawfully, it but
177whets my stomacke, which is too sharpe set already. Read
178that note carefully, keepe me from suspition still, nor know
179my zeale but in thy Heart: read and send but thy liking in
180three words, I'le be at hand to take it.

181Yell. O turne Sir, turne.
182A poore plaine Boy, an Vniuersitie Man,
183proceeds next Lent to a Batcheler of Art,
184he will be call'd S^r Yellowhammer then
185ouer all Cambridge, and that's halfe a Knight.

186Maudl. Please you draw neere, and tast the well-come
187of the Citie Sir?

188Yell. Come good S^r Walter , and your vertuous Neece
189here.

190S. Walt. 'Tis manners to take kindnesse.

191Yell. Lead 'em in Wife.

192S. Walt. Your company Sir.

193Yell. I'le giue't you instantly.

194T.I. How strangely busie is the Diuell and riches,
195Poore Soule kept in too hard, her Mothers Eye,
196is cruell toward her, being to him,
197'twere a good mirth now to set him a worke
198to make her wedding Ring. I must about it.
199Rather then the gaine should fall to a Stranger,
200'twas honestie in me to enrich my Father.

201Yell. The Girle is wondrous peuish, I feare nothing,
202but that she's taken with some other loue,

page 7

203then all's quite dasht, that must be narrowly lookt to,
204we cannot be too wary in our Children. What ist you lack?

205T.I. O nothing now, all that I wish is present.
206I would haue a wedding Ring made for a Gentlewoman,
207with all speed that may be.

208Yell. Of what weight Sir?

209T.I. Of some halfe ounce,
210stand faire and comely, with the Sparke of a Diamond.
211Sir 'twere pittie to lose the least grace.

212Yell. Pray let's see it, indeed Sir 'tis a pure one.

213T.I. So is the Mistris.

214Yell. Haue you the widenesse of her Finger Sir?

215T.I. Yes sure I thinke I haue her measure about me,
216good faith 'tis downe, I cannot show't you,
217I must pull too many things out to be certaine.
218Let me see, long, and slender, and neatly ioynted,
219Iust such another Gentlewoman that's your Daughter Sir.

220Yell. And therefore Sir no Gentlewoman.

221T.I. I protest I neuer saw two Maids handed more alike
222I'le nere seeke farther, if you'le giue me leaue Sir.

223Yell. If you dare venture by her Finger Sir.

224T.I. I, and I'le bide all losse Sir.

225Yell. Say you so Sir, let's see hether Girle.

226T.I. Shall I make bold with your finger Gentlewoman?

227Moll. Your pleasure Sir.

228T.I. That fits her to a haire Sir.

229Yell. What's your Posie now Sir?

230T.I. Masse that's true, Posie I faith eene thus Sir.
231Loue that's wise, blinds Parents Eyes.

232Yell. How, how, If I may speake without offence Sir,
233I hold my life

234T.I. What Sir?

235Yell. Goe too, you'le pardon me?

236T.I. Pardon you? I Sir.

237Yell. Will you I faith?

238T.I. Yes faith I will.

239Yell. You'le steale away some Mans Daughter, am I nere you?
240Doe you turne aside? You Gentlemen are mad Wags, I

page 8

241wonder things can be so warily carried,
242and Parents blinded so, but the're serued right
243that haue two Eyes, and were so dull a sight.

244T.I. Thy doome take hold of thee.

245Yell. To morrow noone shall shew your Ring well done.

246T.I. Being so 'tis soone, thankes, and your leaue sweet
247Gentlewoman.
248Exit.

249Moll. Sir you are well-come.
250O were I made of wishes, I went with thee.

251Yell. Come now we'le see how the rules goe within.

252Moll. That robs my Ioy, there I loose all I win.
253Exit.
254

255 Enter Dauy and All-wit seuerally.
256

257Dau. Honestie wash my Eyes, I haue spy'd a Witall.

258All. What Dauy Dahanna , well-come from North Wales
259I faith, and is S^r Walter come?

260Dau. New come to Towne Sir.

261All. Into the Mayds sweet Dauy , and giue order his
262Chamber be made ready instantly, my Wife's as great as
263she can wallow Dauy , and longs for nothing but pickled
264Coucombers, and his comming, and now she shall ha'te
265Boy.

266Dau. She's sure of them Sir.

267All.     Thy verie sight will hold my Wife in pleasure,
268till the Knight come himselfe. Go in, in, in Dauy .
269
270    Exit.
271
272    The Founderscome to Towne, I am like a Man
273finding a Table furnish't to his hand,
274as mine is still to me, prayes for the Founder,
275blesse the right Worshipfull, the good Founders life.
276I thanke him, h'as maintain'd my House this ten yeeres,
277not onely keepes my Wife, but a keepes me,
278and all my Family, I am at his Table,
279he gets me all my Children, and payes the Nurse,
280monthly, or weekely, puts me to nothing,
281rent, nor Church duties, not so much as the Scauenger,
282the happiest state that euer Man was borne to.

page 15

283Wench. O Snaphance, haue I found you.

284T.S. How Snaphance?

285Wench. Doe you see your workemanship,
286Nay turne not from it, nor offer to escape, for if you doe,
287I'le cry it through the Streets, and follow you.
288Your name may well be called Tuchwood , a Pox on you,
289You doe but touch and take, thou hast vndone me,
290I was a Mayd before, I can bring a Certificate for it,
291From both the Church-Wardens.

292T.S. I'le haue the Parsons Hand too, or I'le not yeeld
293to't.

294Wench. Thou shalt haue more thou Villaine, nothing
295grieues me, but Ellen my poore cousen in Darbishiere, thou
296hast crack't her marriage quite, she'le haue a bout with
297thee.

298T.S. Faith when she will I'le haue a bout with her.

299Wench. A Law bout Sir I meane.

300T.S. True, Lawyers vse such bouts as other Men doe,
301And if that be all thy griefe, I'le tender her a Husband,
302I keepe of purpose two or three Gulls in pickle
303To eat such Mutten with, and she shall chuse one.
304Doe but in courtesie faith Wench excuse me,
305Of this halfe yeard of Flesh, in which I thinke it wants
306A Nayle or two.

307Wench. No, thou shalt find Villaine
308It hath right shape, and all the Nayles it should haue.

309T.S. Faith I am poore, doe a charitable deed Wench,
310I am a younger Brother, and haue nothing.

311Wench. Nothing, thou hast too much thou lying villaine
312Vnlesse thou wert more thankefull.

313T.S. I haue no dwelling,
314I brake vp House but this morning, Pray thee pittie me;
315I am a good Fellow, faith haue beene too kind
316To people of your Gender, if I ha'te
317Without my Belly, none of your Sexe shall want it,
318That word has beene of force to moue a Woman.
319There's trickes enough to rid thy Hand on't Wench,

page 16

320Some rich-mans Porch, to morrow before day,
321Or else anone i'the euening, twentie deuises,
322Here's all I haue, I faith, take purse and all,
323And would I were rid of all the Ware i'the Shop so.

324Wench. Where I find manly dealings I am pitifull,
325This shall not trouble you.

326T.S. And I protest Wench, the next I'le keepe my
327selfe.

328Wench. Soft, let it be got first.
329This is the filth, if e're I venture more
330Where I now goe for a Mayd, may I ride for a Whore.
331Exit.

332T.S.     what shift shele make now with this peece of flesh
333In this strict time of Lent, I cannot imagine,
334Flesh dare not peepe abroad now, I haue knowne
335This Citie now aboue this seuen yeers,
336But I protest in better state of gouernement,
337I neuer knew it yet, nor euer heard of,
338There has beene more religious wholesome Lawes
339In the halfe cirkle of a yeere erected
340For common good, then memorie euer knew of,
341
342    Enter Sir Oliuer Kin, and his Lady.
343
344    Setting apart corruption of Promoters,
345And other poysonous Officers that infect
346And with a venemous breath taint euerie goodnesse.

347Lady. O that e're I was begot, or bred, or borne.

348S. Ol. Be content sweet Wife.

349T.S. What's here to doe now?
350I hold my life she's in deepe passion
351For the imprisonment of Veale and Mutton
352Now kept in Garets, weepes for some Calues Head now,
353Me thinkes her Husbands Head might serue with Bacon.
354

355 Enter Tuchwood Iunior.
356

357Lady. Hist.

page 17

358S. Ol. Patience sweet Wife.

359T.I. Brother I haue sought you strangely.

360T.S. Why what's the businesse?

361T.I. With all speed thou canst procure a Licence for
362me.

363T.S. How, a Licence?

364T.I. Cuds-foot she's lost else, I shall misse her euer

365T.I. Nay sure thou shalt not misse so faire a marke,
366For thirteene shillings foure pence.

367T.S. Thankes by hundreds.
368Exit.

369S. Ol. Nay pray thee cease, I'le be at more cost yet,
370Thou know'st we are rich enough.

371Lady. All but in blessings,
372And there the Begger goes beyond vs. O, o, o,
373To be seuen yeeres a Wife and not a Child, o not a Child.

374S. Ol. Sweet Wife haue patience.

375Lady. Can any Woman haue a greater cut?

376S. Ol. I know 'tis great, but what of that Wife?
377I cannot doe with all, there's things making
378By thine owne Doctors aduice at Poticaries,
379I spare for nothing Wife, no if the price
380Were fortie markes a spoone-full,
381I'de giue a thousand pound to purchase fruitfulnesse,
382'Tis but bating so many good workes
383In the erecting of Bridewels and Spittle-houses,
384And so fetch it vp againe, for hauing none
385I meane to make good deeds my Children.

386Lady. Giue me but those good deeds, and I'le find
387Children.

388S. Ol. Hang thee, thou hast had too many.

389Lady. Thou ly'st breuitie.

390S. Ol. O horrible, dar'st thou call me breuitie?
391Dar'st thou be so short with me?

392Lady. Thou deseruest worse.
393Thinke but vpon the goodly Lands and Linings
394That's kept backe through want on't.

395S. Ol. Talke not on't pray thee,

page 18

396Thou'lt make me play the Woman, and weepe too.

397Lady. 'Tis our dry barrennesse puffes vp S^r Walter ,
398None gets by your not-getting, but that Knight,
399He's made by th'meanes, and fats his fortunes, shortly
400In a great Dowry with a Gold-Smiths Daughter.

401S. Ol. They may be all deceiued,
402Be but you patient Wife.

403Lady. I haue suffred a long time.

404S. Ol. Suffer thy Heart out, a Poxe suffer thee.

405Lady. Nay thee, thou desertlesse Slaue.

406S. Ol. Come, come, I ha'done.
407You'le to the Gossiping of M^r Allwits Child?

408Lady. Yes, to my much ioy,
409Euerie one gets before me, there's my Sister
410Was married but at Bartholmew-eeue last,
411And she can haue two Children at a birth,
412O one of them, one of them would ha'seru'd my turne.

413S. Ol. Sorrow consume thee, thou art still crossing me,
414And know'st my nature.
415

416 Enter a Mayd.
417

418Mayd. O Mistris, weeping or rayling,
419That's our House harmony.

420Lady. What say'st Iugg ?

421Mayd. The sweetest newes.

422Lady. What ist Wench?

423Mayd. Throw downe your Doctors Drugges,
424They're all but Heretikes, I bring certaine remedy
425That has beene taught, and proued, and neuer fayl'd.

426S. Ol. O that, that, that or nothing.

427Mayd. There's a Gentleman,
428I haply haue his Name too, that has got
429Nine Children by one Water that he vseth,
430It neuer misses, they come so fast vpon him,
431He was faine to giue it ouer.

432Lady. His name sweet Iugg ?

page 19

433Mayd. One M^r Tuchwood , a fine Gentleman,
434But run behind-hand much with getting Children.

435S. Ol. Ist possible?

436Mayd. Why Sir, he'le vndertake,
437Vsing that Water, within fifteene yeere,
438For all your wealth, to make you a poore Man,
439You shall so swarme with Children.

440S. Ol. I'le venture that I faith.

441Lady. That shall you Husband.

442Mayd. But I must tell you first, he's very deere.

443S. Ol. No matter, what serues wealth for?

444Lady. True sweet Husband,
445There's Land to come, Put case his Water stands me
446In some fiue hundred pound a pint,
447'T will fetch a thousand, and a Kersten Soule.
448I'le about it.
449And that's worth all sweet Husband.
450Exit.
451

452 Enter All-wit.
453

454All. I'le goe bid Gossips presently my selfe,
455That's all the worke I'le doe, nor need I stirre,
456But that it is my pleasure to walke forth
457Any ayre my selfe a little, I am ty'd to nothing
458In this businesse, what I doe is meerely recreation,
459Not constraint.
460Here's running to and fro, Nurse vpon Nurse,
461Three Chare women, besides maids & neighbors children.
462Fye, what a trouble haue I rid my Hands on,
463It makes me sweat to thinke on't.
464

465 Enter Sir Walter Whorehound.
466

467S. Walt. How now I aske ?

468All. I am going to bid Gossips for your W^ps child Sir,
469A goodly Girle I faith, giue you ioy on her,
470She looks as if she had two thousand pound to her portion

page 20

471Enter Dry Nurse.
472
473 And run away with a Taylor, A fine plumpe black ei'd slut,
474Vnder correction Sir,
475I take delight to see her: Nurse.

476Nurse. Doe you call Sir?
477Exit.

478All.     I call not you, I call the Wet Nurse hither,
479
480    Enter Wet Nurse.
481
482    Giue me the wet Nurse, I 'tis thou,
483Come hither, come hither,
484Lets see her once againe, I cannot chuse.
485But busse her thrice an hower.

486Nurse. You may be proud on't Sir,
487'Tis the best peece of worke that e're you did.

488All. Think'st thou so Nurse, What sayest to Wat and
489Nicke ?

490Nurse. They're pretie children both, but here's a wench
491Will be a knocker.

492All. Pup say'st thou me so, pup little Countesse,
493Faith Sir I thanke your Worship for this Girle,
494Ten thousand times, and vpward.

495S. Walt. I am glad I haue her for you Sir.

496All. Here take her in Nurse, wipe her, and giue her
497Spoone-meat.

498Nurse. Wipe your Mouth Sir.
499Exit.

500All. And now about these Gossips.

501S. Walt. Get but two, I'le stand for one my selfe.

502All. To your owne Child Sir?

503S. Walt. The better pollicie, it preuents suspition,
504'Tis good to play with rumor at all weapons.

505All. Troth I commend your care Sir, 'tis a thing
506That I should ne're haue thought on.

507S. Walt. The more Slaue,
508When Man turnes base, out goes his Soules pure flame,
509The fat of ease o're-throwes the eyes of shame.

page 21

510All. I am studying who to get for Godmother
511Sutable to your Worship, Now I ha'thought on't.

512S. Walt. I'le ease you of that care, and please my selfe in't
513My Loue the Goldsmithes Daughter, if I send,
514Her Father will command her, Dauy Dahumma .
515

516 Enter Dauy.
517

518All. I'le fit your Worship then with a Male Partner.

519S. Walt. What is he?

520All. A kind proper Gentleman, Brother to M^r
521Tuchwood .

522S. Walt. I know Tuchwood , has he a Brother liuing?

523All. A neat Batchelor.

524S. Walt. Now we know him, we'le make shift with him
525Dispatch the time drawes neere, Come hither Dauy .
526Exit.

527All.     In troth I pittie him, he ne're stands still,
528Poore Knight what paines he takes, sends this way one,
529That way another, has not an houres leasure,
530I would not haue thy toyle, for all thy pleasure,
531
532    Enter two Promoters.
533
534    Ha, how now, what are these that stand so close
535At the Street-corner, pricking vp their Eares,
536And snuffing vp their Noses, like rich-mens Dogges
537When the first Course goes in? By the masse Promoters,
538'Tis so I hold my life, and planted there
539To arrest the dead Corps of poore Calues and Sheepe,
540Like rauenous Creditors, that will not suffer
541The Bodyes of their poore departed Debtors
542To goe to'th'graue, but eene in Death to vex
543And stay the Corps, with Billes of Middlesex,
544This Lent will fat the whoresons vp with Sweetbreds,
545And lard their whores with Lambe-stones, what their gols
546Can clutch, goes presently to their Mols and Dols ,
547The Bawds will be so fat with what they carue,

page 22

548Their Chins will hang like Vdders, by Easter-eeue,
549And being stroak't, will giue the Milke of Witches,
550How did the Mungrels heare my wife lyes in?
551Well, I may baffle 'em gallantly, By your Fauour Gentlemen
552I am a stranger both vnto the Citie,
553And to her carnall stricktnesse.

5541 Prom. Good, Your will Sir?

555All. Pray tell me where one dwells that kils this Lent.

5561 Prom. How kils? Come hither Dicke ,
557A Bird, a Bird.

5582 Prom. What ist that you would haue?

559All. Faith any Flesh,
560But I long especially for Veale and Greene-sauce.

5611 Prom. Greene-Goose, you shall be sau'st.

562All. I haue halfe a scornefull stomacke, no Fish will be
563admitted.

5641 Prom. Not this Lent Sir?

565All. Lent, what cares Colon here for Lent?

5661 Prom. You say well Sir,
567Good reason that the Colon of a Gentleman
568As you were lately pleas'd to terme your worship Sir,
569Should be fulfill'd with answerable food,
570To sharpen Blood, delight Health, and tickle Nature,
571Were you directed hither to this Street Sir?

572All. That I was, I marry.

5732 Prom. And the Butcher belike
574Should kill, and sell close in some vpper Roome?

575All. Some Apple-loft as I take it, or a Cole-house,
576I know not which I faith.

5772 Prom. Either will serue,
578This Butcher shall kisse Newgate, lesse he turne vp the
579Bottome of the Pocket of his Apron,
580You goe to seeke him?

581All. Where you shall not find him,
582I'le buy, walke by your Noses with my Flesh,
583Sheepe-biting Mungrels, Hand-basket Free-booters,
584My Wife lyes in, a sootra for Promoters.
585Exit.

page 23

5861 Prom. That shall not serue your turn, what a Rogue's
587this, how cunningly he came ouer vs?
588

589 Enter a Man with Meat in a Basket.
590

5912 Prom. Husht, stand close.

592Man I haue scap't well thus farre, they say the Knaues
593are wondrous hot and busie.

5941 Prom. By your leaue Sir,
595We must see what you haue vnder your Cloake there.

596Man Haue? I haue nothing.

5971 Prom. No, doe you tell vs that, what makes this
598lumpe sticke out then, we must see Sir.

599Man What will you see Sir, a paire of Sheets, and two
600of my Wiues foule Smocks, going to the Washers?

6012 Prom. O we loue that sight well, you cannot please vs
602better: What doe you gull vs, call you these Shirts and
603Smockes?

604Man Now a Poxe choake you,
605You haue cozend me and fiue of my Wiues kinred
606Of a good Dinner, we must make it vp now
607With Herrings and Milke-potage.
608Exit.

6091 Prom. 'Tis all Veale.

6102 Prom. All Veale, Poxe the worse lucke, I promis'd
611faithfully to send this morning a fat quarter of Lambe, to a
612kind Gentlewoman in Turnebull street that longs, and how
613I'me crost.

6141 Prom. Let's share this, and see what hap comes next
615then.
616

617 Enter another with a Basket.
618

6192 Prom. Agreed, stand close againe, another bootie,
620What's he?

6211 Prom. Sir, by your fauour.

622Man Meaning me Sir?

6231 Prom. Good M^r Oliuer , cry thee mercie, I faith.

page 24

624What hast thou there?

625Man. A Racke of Mutton Sir, and halfe a Lambe,
626You know my Mistrisses dyet.

6271 Prom. Goe, goe, we see thee not, away, keepe close,
628Heart let him passe, thou'lt neuer haue the wit
629To know our benefactors.

6302 Prom. I haue forgot him.

6311 Prom. 'Tis M. Beggerlands man the wealthy Merchant
632That is in fee with vs.

6332 Prom. Now I haue a feeling of him.

6341 Prom. You know he purchast the whole Lent together
635Gaue vs ten groats a peece on Ash-wensday.

6362 Prom. True, true.
637

638 Enter a Wench with a Basket, and a Child in it
639vnder a Loyne of Mutton.
640

6411 Prom. A Wench.

6422 prom. Why then stand close indeed.

643Wench. Women had need of wit, if they'le shift here,
644And she that hath wit, may shift any-where.

6451 Prom. Looke, looke, poore Foole,
646She has left the Rumpe vncouer'd too,
647More to betray her, this is like a Murdrer,
648That will out-face the deed with a bloody Band.

6492 prom. What time of the yeere ist Sister?

650Wench. O sweet Gentlemen, I am a poore Seruant,
651Let me goe.

6521 Prom. You shall Wench, but this must stay with vs.

653Wench. O you vndoe me Sir,
654'Tis for a welthy Gentlewoman that takes Physicke Sir,
655The Doctor do's allow my Mistris Mutton,
656O as you tender the deere life of a Gentlewoman,
657I'le bring my Master to you, he shall shew you
658A true authoritie from the higher powers,
659And I'le run euerie foot.

6602 Prom. Well, leaue your Basket then,

page 25

661And run and spare not.

662Wench. Will you sweare then to me,
663To keepe it till I come.

6641 Prom. Now by this light I will.

665Wench. What say you Gentleman?

6662 Prom. What a strange Wench 'tis?
667Would we might perish else.

668Wench. Nay then I run Sir.
669Exit.

6701 Prom. And ne're returne I hope.

6712 Prom. A politike Baggage,
672She makes vs sweare to keepe it,
673I prethe looke what market she hath made.

6741 Prom. Imprimis Sir, a good fat Loyne of Mutton,
675What comes next vnder this Cloath?
676Now for a quarter of Lambe.

6772 Prom. Not for a Shoulder of Mutton.

6781 Prom. Done.

6792 Prom. Why done Sir.

6801 Prom. By the masse I feele I haue lost,
681'Tis of more weight I faith.

6822 Prom. Some Loyne of Veale?

6831 Prom. No faith, here's a Lambes Head,
684I feele that plainly, why yet win my wager.

6852 Prom. Ha?

6861 Prom. Swounds what's here?

6872 Prom. A Child.

6881 Prom. A Poxe of all dissembling cunning Whores.

6892 Prom. Here's an vnlucky Breakefast.

6901 Prom. What shal's doe?

6912 Prom. The Queane made vs sweare to keepe it too.

6921 Prom. We might leaue it else.

6932 Prom. Villanous strange,
694'Life had she none to gull, but poore Promoters,
695That watch hard for a liuing.

6961 Prom. Halfe our gettings must run in Suger-sops,
697And Nurses wages now, besides many a pound of Sope,
698And Tallow, we haue need to get Loynes of Mutton still,

page 26

699To saue Suet to change for Candles.

7002 Prom. Nothing mads me, but this was a Lambs head
701with you, you felt it, she has made Calues heads of vs.

7021 Prom. Prethe no more on't,
703There's time to get it vp, it is not come
704To Mid-Lent Sunday yet.

7052 Prom. I am so angry, I'le watch no more to day.

7061 Prom. Faith nor I neither.

7072 Prom. Why then I'le make a motion.

7081 Prom. Well, what ist?

7092 Prom. Let's e'ne goe to the Checker at Queene-hiue
710and rost the Loyne of Mutton, till young Flood, then send
711the Child to Branford.
712

713 Enter Allwit in one of Sir Walters Sutes, and Dauy
714trussing him.
715

716All. 'Tis a busie day at our House Dauy .

717Dauy Alwayes the Kursning day Sir.

718All. Trusse, trusse me Dauy .

719Dauy No matter and you were hang'd Sir.

720All. How do's this Sute fit me Dauy ?

721Dauy Excellent neatly, my Masters things were euer fit
722for you Sir, e'ne to a Haire you know.

723All.     Thou hast hit it right Dauy ,
724We euer iumpt in one, this ten yeeres Dauy ,
725
726    Enter a Seruant with a Box.
727
728    So well said, what art thou?

729Seru. Your Comfit-makers Man Sir.

730All. O sweet youth, into the Nurse quicke,
731Quicke, 'tis time I faith,
732Your Mistris will be here?

733Seru. She was setting forth Sir.

page 27

734

735 Enter two Puritans.
736

737All. Here comes our Gossips now, O I shall haue such
738kissing worke to day, Sweet Mistris Vnderman welcome
739I faith.

7401 Pur. Giue you ioy of your fine Girle Sir,
741Grant that her education may be pure,
742And become one of the faithfull.

743All. Thankes to your Sisterly wishes M^r Vnderman .

7442 Pur. Are any of the Brethrens Wiues yet come?

745All. There are some Wiues within, and some at
746home.

7471 Pur. Verily thankes Sir.
748Exit.

749All.     Verily you are an Asse forsooth,
750I must fit all these times, or there's no Musicke,
751
752    Enter two Gossips.
753
754    Here comes a friendly and familier payer,
755Now I like these Wenches well.

7561 Goss. How do'st sirra?

757All. Faith well I thanke you Neighbor, and how do'st
758thou?

7592 Goss. Want nothing, but such getting Sir as thine.

760All. My gettings wench, they are poore.

7611 Goss. Fye that thou'lt say so,
762Th'ast as fine Children as a Man can get,

763Dauy I as a Man can get,
764And that's my Master.

765All. They are pretie foolish things,
766Put to making in minutes,
767I ne're stand long about 'em,
768Will you walke in Wenches?

page 28

769Enter Tuchwood Iunior, and Moll.
770

771T.I. The hapiest meeting that our soules could wish for
772Here's the Ring ready, I am beholding vnto your Fathers
773hast, h'as kept his howre.

774Moll. He neuer kept it better.
775

776 Enter Sir Walter Whorehound.
777

778T.I. Backe, be silent.

779S. Walt. Mistris and Partner, I will put you both into
780one Cup.

781Dauy Into one Cup, most proper,
782A fitting complement for a Gold-smiths Daughter.

783All. Yes Sir, that's he must be your Worships Partner
784In this dayes businesse, M^r Tuchwoods Brother.

785S. Walt. I embrace your acquaintance Sir.

786T.I. It vowes your seruice Sir.

787S.Walt. It's neere high time, come M^r All-wit .

788All. Ready Sir.

789S. Walt. Wil't please you walke?

790T.I. Sir I obey your time.
791Exit.
792

793 Enter Midwife with the Child, and the Gossips to the
794Kursning.
795

7961 Goss. Good M^ris Yellowhammer .

797Maudl. In faith I will not.

7981 Goss. Indeed it shall be yours

799Maudl. I haue sworne I faith.

8001 Goss. I'le stand still then.

801Maudl. So will you let the Child goe without company
802And make me forsworne.

8031 Goss. You are such another Creature.

8042 Goss. Before me, I pray come downe a little.

8053 Goss. Not a whit, I hope I know my place.

page 29

8062 Goss. Your place, great wonder sure, are you any better
807then a Comfit-makers wife.

8083 Goss. And that's as good at all times as a Pothicaries.

8092 Goss. Ye lye, yet I forbeare you too.

8101 Pur. Come sweet Sister, we goe in vnitie, and shew
811the fruits of peace like Children of the Spirit.

8122 Pur. I loue lowlinesse.

8134 Goss. True, so say I, though they striue more,
814There comes as proud behind, as goes before.

8155 Goss. Euerie inch I faith.
816Exit.