Stevenson, William: Gammer Gvrtons Nedle (5 948 words)

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page 7


1

THE FYRST ACTE. THE THYRD SCEANE.


2
3HODGE. TYB.
4

5Hodge Cham agast by the masse, ich wot not what
6to do
7Chad nede blesse me well before ich go them to
8Perchaunce some felon sprit may haunt our
9house indeed,
10And then chwere but a noddy to venter where
11cha no neede,

12Tib Cham worse then mad by the masse to be at
13this staye

page 8


14Cham chyd, cham blamd, and beaton all thoures
15on the daye,
16Lamed and hunger storued, prycked vp all in
17Jagges
18Hauyng no patch to hyde my backe, saue a few
19rotten ragges.

20Hodge I say Tyb, if thou be Tyb, as I trow sure thou
21bee,
22What deuyll make a doe is this, betweene our
23dame and thee.

24Tyb Gogsbreade Hodg thou had a good turne thou
25warte not here this while.
26It had ben better for some of vs to haue ben
27hence a myle
28My Gammer is so out of course, and frantyke
29all at ones
30That Cocke our boy, & I poore wench, haue felt
31it on our bones.

32Hodge What is the matter, say on Tib wherat she
33taketh so on.

34Tyb She is vndone she sayth (alas,) her ioye and
35life is gone
36If shee here not of some comfort, she is sayth
37but dead
38Shall neuer come within her lyps, one inch of
39meate ne bread.

40Hodge Byr Ladie cham not very glad, to see her in
41this dumpe
42Cholde a noble her stole hath fallen, & shee hath
43broke her rumpe

44Tyb Nay and that were the worst, we wold not
45greatly care
46For bursting of her huckle bone, or breakyng
47of her Chaire,
48But greatter, greater, is her grief, as hodge we
49shall all feele.

page 9


50Hodge Gogs woundes Tyb, my gammer has neuer lost
51her Neele?

52Tyb Her Neele.

53Hodge Her Neele?

54Tib Her neele by him that made me, it is true Hodge
55I tell thee.

56Hodge Gogs sacrament, I would she had lost, tharte
57out of her bellie
58The Deuill or els his dame, they ought her sure
59a shame
60How a murryon came this chaunce, (say Tib)
61vnto our dame?

62Tyb My ga~mer sat her downe on her pes, & bad me
63reach thy breeches
64And by & by, a vengea~ce in it or she had take
65two stitches
66To clap a clout vpon thine ars, by chaunce a syde
67she leares
68And gyb our cat in the milke pan, she spied ouer
69head and eares
70Ah hore, out thefe, she cryed aloud, & swapt
71the breches downe
72Up went her staffe, and out leapt gyb, at doors
73into the towne
74And synce that time was neuer wyght, cold set
75their eies vpo~ it
76Gogs malison chaue Cocke and I, byd twenty
77times light on it.

78Hodge And is not the~ my breches sewid vp, to morow
79yt I shuld were

80Tyb No in faith hodge thy breeches lie, for al this
81neuer the nere.

82Hodge Now a ve~geance light on al ye sort, yt better
83shold haue kept it,
84The cat, the house, and tib our maid, yt better
85shold haue swept it

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86Se where she co~meth crawling, come on in twenty
87deuils way
88Ye haue made a fayre daies worke, haue you not?
89pray you say.

90

91

THE FYRSTE ACTE. THE .IIII. SCEANE.


92
93GAMMER. HODGE. TYB. COCKE.
94

95Ga~mer Alas hoge, alas I may well cursse and ban
96This daie that euer I saw it, with gyb
97and the mylke pan
98For these and ill lucke to gather, as knoweth
99Cocke my boye
100Haue stacke away my deare neele, and robd me
101of my ioye
102My fayre longe strayght neele that was myne
103onely treasure
104The fyrst day of my sorow is, and last end of my
105pleasure.

106Hodge Might ha kept it when ye had it, but fooles
107will be fooles styll.
108Lose that is vast in your handes, ye neede not
109but ye will.

110Ga~mer Go hie thee tib, and run thou hoore, to thend
111here of the towne
112Didst cary out dust in thy lap, seeke wher thou
113porest it downe
114And as thou sawest me roking, in the asshes
115where I morned
116So see in all the heape of dust, thou leaue no
117straw vnturned.

118Tyb That chal gammer swythe and tyte, and sone
119be here agayne.

120Ga~mer Tib stoope & loke downe to ye ground to it, &
121take some paine.

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122Hodge Here is a prety matter, to see this gere how it
123goes
124By gogs soule I thenk you wold loes your ars,
125and it were loose
126Your neele lost, it is pitie you shold lack care and
127endlesse sorow
128Gogs deth how shall my breches be sewid, shall
129I go thus to morow

130Ga~mer Ah hodg, hodg, if that ich cold find my neele
131by the reed
132Chould sow thy breches ich promise ye, wt full
133good double threed
134And set a patch on either knee, shuld last this
135monethes twaine
136Now god & good Saint Sithe I praye, to send it
137home againe.

138Hodge Wherto serued your hands & eies, but this your
139neele to kepe
140What deuill had you els to do, ye kept ich wot
141no sheepe
142Cham faine a brode to dyg and delue, in water,
143myre and claye
144Sossing and possing in the durte, styll from day
145to daye
146A hundred thinges that be abrode, cham set to
147see them weele
148And foure of you syt idle at home, and can not
149keepe a neele.

150Ga~mer My neele alas ich lost it hodge, what time ich
151me vp hasted
152To saue the milke set vp for the, which gib our
153cat hath wasted

154Hodge The Deuill he burst both gib, and Tib, with all
155the rest
156Cham alwayes sure of the worst end, who euer
157haue the best

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158Where ha you ben fidging abrode, since you your
159neele lost

160Ga~mer Within the house, and at the dore, sitting by
161this same post
162Wher I was loking a long howre, before these
163folks came here,
164But welaway, all was in vayne, my neele is neuer
165the nere.

166Hodge Set me a candle, let me seeke and grope where
167euer it bee
168Gogs hart ye be so folish (ich thinke) you knowe
169it not when you it see

170Ga~mer Come hether Cocke, what Cocke I say.

171Cocke Howe Gammer.

172Ga~mer Goe hye thee soone, and grope behynd the
173old brasse pan,
174Whych thing when thou hast done
175Ther shalt thou fynd an old shooe, wher in if
176thou looke well
177Thou shalt fynd lyeng an inche of a whyte tallow
178candell,
179Lyght it, and brynge it tite awaye.

180Cocke That shalbe done anone.

181Ga~mer Nay tary hodg til thou hast light, and then
182weele seke eche one.

183Hodge Cum away ye horson boy, are ye a slepe; ye
184must haue a crier.

185Cocke Ich cannot get the candel light here is almost
186no fier.

187Hodge Chil hold the a peny chil make ye come if yt ich
188may catch thine eares
189Art deffe thou horson boy? cocke I say, why
190canst not heares.

191Ga~mer Beate hym not Hodge but help the boy and
192come you two together.

page 13


193

THE .I. ACTE. THE .V. SCEANE.


194
195GAMMER. TYB, COCKE. HODGE.
196

197Ga~mer How now Tyb, quycke lets here, what
198newes thou hast brought hether.

199Tyb Chaue tost and tumbled yender heap our &
200ouer againe
201And winowed it through my fingers, as me~ wold
202winow grain
203No so much as a hens turd but in pieces I tare it
204Or what so euer clod or clay I found, I did not
205spare it
206Lokyng within and eke without, to fynd your
207neele (alas)
208But all in vaine and without help, your neele is
209where it was.

210Ga~mer Alas my neele we shall neuer meete, adue, adue
211for aye.

212Tyb Not so gammer, we myght it fynd if we knew
213where it laye.

214Cocke Gogs crosse Gammer if ye will laugh looke in
215but at the doore
216And see how Hodg lieth tomblynge and tossing
217amids the floure
218Rakyng there some fyre to find amonge the
219asshes dead
220Where there is not one sparke, so byg as a pyns
221head,
222At last in a darke corner two sparkes he thought
223he sees
224Which were indede nought els but Gyb our cats
225two eyes

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226Puffe quod hodg thinking therby to haue fyre
227without doubt
228With that Gyb shut her two eyes, & so the fyre
229was out
230And by and by them opened, euen as they were
231before,
232With that the sparkes appered euen as they had
233done of yore,
234And euen as hodge blew the fire as he did thincke
235Gyb as she felt the blast strayght way began to
236wyncke,
237Tyll Hodge fell of swering, as came best to his
238turne,
239The fier was sure bewicht and therfore wold
240not burne:
241At last Gyb vp the stayers, among the old postes
242and pinnes,
243And Hodge he hied him after till broke were both
244his shinnes:
245Cursynge and swering othes, were neuer of his
246makyng,
247That Gyb wold fyre the house, if that shee were
248not taken.

249Ga~mer See here is all the thought that the foolysh
250Urchyn taketh,
251And Tyb me thinke at his elbowe almost as mery
252maketh
253This is all the wyt ye haue when others make
254their mone,
255Come downe Hodge, where art thou and let the
256Cat alone.

257Hodge Gogs harte, help and come vp, Gyb in her tayle
258hath fyre,
259And is like to burne all if shee get a lytle hier:
260Cum downe (quoth you,) nay then you might
261count me a patch,

page 15


262The house co~meth downe on your heads if it take
263ons y thatch.

264Ga~mer It is the cats eyes foole that shineth in the darke.

265Hodge Hath the Cat do you thinke in euery eye a
266sparke.

267Ga~mer No, but they shyne as lyke fyre as euer man see.

268Hodge By the masse and she burne all, yoush beare
269the blame for mee

270Ga~mer Cum downe & help to seeke here our neele that
271it were found
272Downe Tyb on the knees I say, downe Cocke to
273the ground.
274To God I make a vowe, and so to good Saint
275Anne
276A candell shall they haue a peece, get it where
277I can,
278If I may my neele find in one place or in other.

279Hodge Now a vengeaunce on gib light, on gyb and
280gybs mother
281And all the generacyon of Cats both far and nere
282Looke on the ground horson thinks thou the neele
283is here.

284Cocke By my trouth gammer me thought your neele
285here I saw
286But when my fyngers toucht it, I felt it was a
287straw.

288Tyb See Hodge whats thys, may it not be within it,

289Hodge Breake it foole with thy hand and see and thou
290canst fynde it.

291Tyb Nay breake it you Hodge accordyng to your
292word.

293Hodge Gogs sydes, fye it styncks; it is a Cats tourd,
294It were well done to make thee eate it by the
295masse.

296Ga~mer This matter amendeth not my neele is still
297where it wasse

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298Our candle is at an ende let vs all in quight
299And come another tyme, when we haue more
300lyght

page 53


301

THE V. ACTE. THE II SCEANE,


302
303M. BAYLY. CHAT. D. RAT. GAMMER. HODGE. DICCON.
304

305Bayly Dame Chat, master doctor vpon you here
306complained
307That you & your maides shuld him much
308misorder.
309And taketh many an oth, that no word he
310fained,
311Laying to your charge, how you thought him to
312murder:
313And on his part againe, that same man saith
314furder
315He neuer offended you in word nor intent,
316To heare you answer hereto, we haue now for
317you sent.

318Chat That I wold haue murdered him, fye on him
319wretch,
320And euil mought he thee for it, our Lord I besech,
321I will swere on al the bookes that opens and
322shuttes
323He faineth this tale out of his owne guttes,

page 54


324For this seuen weeks with me, I am sure he sat
325not downe,
326Nay ye haue other minions, in the other end of
327the towne,
328Where ye were liker to catch such a blow,
329Then any where els, as farre as I know.

330Baily Belike then master Doctor, yon stripe there ye
331got not?

332D. Rat Thinke you I am so mad, that where I was bet,
333I wot not?
334Will ye beleue this queane, before she hath
335tryd it?
336It is not the first dede she hath done and afterward
337denide it.

338Chat What man, will you say I broke your head?

339D. Rat How canst thou proue the contrary?

340Chat Nay, how prouest thou that I did the deade.

341D. Rat To plainly, by S. Mary.
342This profe I trow may serue, though I no word
343spoke.
344Showing his broken head.

345Chat Bicause thy head is broken, was it I that it
346broke?
347I saw thee Rat I tel thee, not once within this
348fortnight,

349D. Rat No mary, thou sawest me not, for why thou
350hadst no light,
351But I felt thee for al the darke, beshrew thy
352smothe cheekes,
353And thou groped me, this wil declare, any day
354this six weekes
355Showing his heade.

356Baily Answere me to this M. Rat, when caught you
357this harme of yours?

358D. Rat A while a go sir, god he knoweth, wtin les the~
359these ii. houres.

page 55


360Baily Dame Chat was there none with you: (confesse
361I faith) about that season.
362What woman, let it be what it wil, tis neither
363felony nor treason

364Chat Yes by my faith master Bayly, there was a
365knaue not farre
366Who caught one good Philup on the brow, with
367a dore barre
368And well was he worthy, as it semed to mee,
369But what is that to this man, since this was
370not hee.

371Baily Who was it then? lets here.

372D. Rat Alas sir, aske you that?
373Is it not made plain inough (by the owne mouth
374of dame chat)
375The time agreeth, my head is broken, her tong
376can not lye,
377Onely vpon a bare, nay she saith it was
378not I.

379Chat No mary was it not indeede ye shal here by this
380one thing,
381This after noone a fre~d of mine, for good wil
382gaue me warning
383And bad me wel loke to my ruste, and al my
384Capons pennes,
385For if I toke not better heede, a knaue wold haue
386my hennes,
387Then I to saue my goods, toke so much pains as
388him to watch
389And as good fortune serued me, it was my chau~ce
390hi~ for to catch
391What strokes he bare away, or other what was
392his gaines
393I wot not, but sure I am, he had something for
394his paines

395Baily Yet telles thou not who it was.

page 56


396Chat Who it was a false theefe,
397That came like a false Foxe, my pullaine to kil
398and mischeefe.

399Baily But knowest thou not his name?

400Chat I know it but what than,
401It was that crafty cullyon Hodge my gammer
402gurtons man.

403Bailie Cal me the knaue hether, he shal sure kysse
404the stockes.
405I shall teach him a lesson, for filching hens or cocks

406D. Rat I maruaile master bayly, so bleared be your
407eyes.
408An egge is not so ful of meate, as she is ful of
409lyes:
410When she hath playd this pranke, to excuse al
411this geare,
412She layeth the fault in such a one, as I know was
413not there.

414Chat Was he not thear loke on his pate, that shalbe
415his witnes.

416D. Rat I wold my head were half so hole, I wold seeke
417no redresse.

418Baily God bless you gammer Gurton.

419Ga~mer God dylde you master mine.

420Baily Thou hast a knaue wtin thy house, hodge, a seruant
421of thine.
422They tel me that busy knaue, is such a filching
423one,
424That Hen, Pig, goose or capon, thy neighbour
425can haue none,

426Ga~mer By god cham much ameued, to heare any such
427reporte:
428Hodge was not wont ich trow, to baue him in
429that sort.

430Chat A theeuisher knaue is not on liue, more filching,
431nor more false

page 57


432Many a truer man then he, hase hanged vp by
433the halse.
434And thou his dame of al his theft, thou art the
435sole receauer
436For hodge to catch, and thou to kepe, I neuer
437knew none better

438Ga~mer Sir reuerence of your masterdome, and you were
439out adoore,
440Chold be so bolde for al hir brags, to cal hir
441arrant whoore,
442And ich knew Hodge so bad as tow, ich wish me
443endlesse sorow
444And chould not take the pains, to hang him vp
445before to morow?

446Chat What haue I stolne fro~ the or thine: thou
447ilfauored olde trot.

448Ga~mer A great deale more (by Gods blest,) then cheuer
449by the got,
450That thou knowest wel I neade not say it.

451Baily Stoppe there I say,
452And tel me here I pray you, this matter by the
453way:
454How chaunce hodge is not here him wold I faine
455haue had.

456Ga~mer Alas sir, heel be here anon, ha be handled to bad.

457Chat Master bayly, sir ye be not such a foole wel I
458know,
459But ye perceiue by this lingring, there is a pad
460in the straw.
461Thinking that Hodg, his head was broke,
462and that gammer
463Wold not let him come before them.

464Ga~mer Chil shew you his face, ich warrant the, lo
465now where he is.

466Bailie Come on fellow it is tolde me thou art a shrew
467iwysse,

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468Thy neighbours hens yu takest, and playes the
469two legged foxe
470Their chikens & their capons to, & now and then
471their Cocks.

472Hodge Ich defy them al that dare it say, cham as true
473as the best.

474Baily Wart not yu take~ within this houre, in dame
475 chats hens nest?

476Hodge Take~ there? no master chold not dot, for a
477house ful of gold.

478Chat Thou or the deuil in thy cote, sweare this I
479dare be bold.

480D. Rat Sweare me no swearing quean, the deuill he
481geue the sorow,
482Al is not worth a gnat, thou canst sweare till to
483morow,
484Where is the harme he hath? shew it by gods
485bread,
486Ye beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light
487on my head.

488Hodge Bet me? gogs blessed body, chold first ich
489trow haue burst the
490Ich thinke and chad my hands loose callet chould
491haue crust the.

492Chat Thou shitte~ knaue I trow yu knowest ye ful
493weight of my fist
494I am fowly deceiued, onles thy head & my doore
495bar kyste.

496Hodge Hold thy chat whore yu criest so loude, can no
497man els be hard

498Chat Well knaue, & I had the alone, I wold surely
499rap thy costard.

500Bayly Sir answer me to this, is thy head whole or
501broken?

502Chat Yea master Bayly, blest be euery good
503token.

page 59


504Hodge Is my head whole? ich warra~t you, tis neither
505scuruy nor scald
506What you foule beast, does think tis either pild or
507bald.
508Nay ich thanke god: chil not for al that thou
509maist spend
510That chad one scab on my narse, as brode as thy
511fingers end.

512Bayly Come nearer heare.

513Hodge Yes That ich dare.

514Bayly By our Lady herhere is no harme,
515Hodges head is hole ynough, for al dame Chats
516charme.

517Chat By gogs blest, how euer the thing he clockes or
518smolders,
519I know the blowes he bare away, either wt head
520or shoulders,
521Camest yu not knaue within this houre, creping
522into my pens
523And there was caught within my hous, gropi~g
524among my hens.

525Hodge A plage both on thy hens & the, a carte whore,
526a carte,
527Chould I were ha~ged as hie as a tree, & chware as
528false as yu art
529Geue my ga~mer again her washical, yu stole away
530in thy lap.

531Ga~mer Yea maister baily there is a thing, you know not
532on may hap
533This drab she kepes away my good, ye deuil he
534might her snare
535Ich pray you that ich might haue, a right action
536on her.

537Chat Haue I thy good old filth, or any such old sowes?
538I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin betwene
539thy browes

page 60


540Ga~mer Many a truer hath be~ hanged, though you
541escape the daunger

542Chat Thou shalt answer by gods pity, for this thy
543foule slaunder.

544Baily Why, what ca~ ye charge hir withal? to say so,
545ye do not well.

546Ga~mer Mary a ve~geance to hir hart, yt whore hase
547stoln my neele.

548Chat Thy nedle old witch, how so? it were almes thy
549scul to knock
550So didst thou say, the other day, that I had
551stolne thy Cock
552And rosted him to my breakfast, which shal not
553be forgotten,
554The deuil pul out thy lying tong, and teeth that
555be so rotten.

556Ga~mer Geue me my neele, as for my cocke, chould be
557very loth
558That chuld here tel he shuld hang, on thy fals
559faith and troth.

560Baily Your talke is such, I can scarse learne who
561shuld be most in fault

562Ga~mer Yet shal ye find no other wight, saue she, by
563bred & salt

564Baily Kepe ye content a while, se that your tonges ye
565holde,
566Me thinkes you shuld remembre, this is no place
567to scolde,
568How knowest thou ga~mer gurton, dame Chat thy
569nedle had?

570Ga~mer To name you sir the party, chould not be very
571glad.

572Baily Yea but we must nedes heare it, & therfore
573say it boldly.

574Ga~mer Such one as told the tale, full soberly and coldly,
575Euen he that loked on, wil sweare on a booke:

page 61


576What time this drunken gossip, my faire long
577neele vp tooke
578Diccon (master) the Bedlam, cham very sure ye
579know him.

580Bailie A false knaue by Gods pitie, ye were but a foole
581to trow him,
582I durst auenture wel the price of my best cap,
583That when the end is knowen, all wil turne to
584a iape,
585Tolde he not you that besides she stole your
586Cocke that tyde?

587Ga~mer No master no indede, for then he shuld haue
588lyed,
589My cocke is I thanke Christ, safe and wel a fine.

590Chat Yea but that ragged colt, that whore that tyb
591of thine
592Said plainly thy cocke was stolne, & in my house
593was eaten,
594That lying cut is lost, that she is not swinged and
595beaten,
596And yet for al my good name, it were a small
597amendes
598I picke not this geare (hearst thou) out of my
599fingers endes
600But he that hard it told me, who thou of late
601didst name
602Diccon whom al men knowes, it was the very same.

603Baily This is the case, you lost your nedle about the
604dores
605And she answeres againe, she hase no cocke of
606yours,
607Thus in your talke and Action, from that you do
608intend,
609She is whole fiue mile wide, from that she doth
610defend:
611Will you saie she hath your Cocke?

page 62


612Ga~mer No mery sir that chil not,

613Bayly Will you confesse hir neele?

614Chat Will I? no sir I will not.

615Bayly Then there lieth all the matter.

616Ga~mer Soft master by the way,
617Ye know she could do litle, and she cold not say
618nay.

619Bayly Yea but he that made one lie about your Cock
620stealing,
621Wil not sticke to make another, what time lies
622be in dealing
623I weene, the ende wil proue, this brawle did first
624arise,
625Upon no other ground, but only Diccons lyes.

626Chat Though some be lyes as you belike haue espyed
627them,
628Yet other some be true, by proof I haue wel
629tryed them.

630Bayly What other thing beside this dame Chat.

631Chat Mary syr euen this,
632The tale I tolde before, the selfe same tale it
633was his,
634He gaue me like a frende, warning against my
635losse,
636Els had my hens be stolne, eche one, by Gods
637crosse:
638He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came
639indeede,
640But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast
641then speede,
642This truth was said, and true was found, as truly
643I report.

644Bayly If Doctor Rat be not deceiued, it was of another
645sort.

646D. Rat By Gods mother thou and he, be a cople of
647suttle foxes,

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648Betweene you and Hodge, I beare away the
649boxes,
650Did not dicco~ apoynt the place, wher yu shuldst
651sta~d to mete him.

652Chat Yes by the masse, & if he came, bad me not
653sticke to speet hym.

654D. Rat Gods sacrament the villain knaue hath drest vs
655round about,
656He is the cause of all this brawle, that dyrty
657shitten loute:
658When gammer gurton here complained, & made a
659ruful mone
660I heard him sweare yt you had gotten, hir nedle
661that was gone,
662And this to try he furder said, he was ful loth
663how be it
664He was content with small adoe, to bring me
665where to see it.
666And where ye sat, he said ful certain, if I wold
667folow his read
668Into your house a priuy way, he wold me guide
669and leade,
670And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about
671a clowte,
672And set me in the backe hole, therby to finde
673you out:
674And whiles I sought a quietnes, creping vpon
675my knees,
676I found the weight of your dore bar, for my
677reward and fees,
678Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they
679begin to mel
680In setting at one such as were out, minding to
681make al wel.

682Hodge Was not wel blest ga~mer, to scape y scoure,
683& chad ben there

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684The~ chad ben drest be like, as ill by the masse,
685as gaffar vicar.

686Bayly Mary sir, here is a sport alone, I loked for such
687an end
688If diccon had not playd the knaue, this had ben
689sone amend
690My gammer here he made a foole, and drest hir
691as she was
692And goodwife Chat he set to scole, till both partes
693cried alas,
694And D. Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his
695crown did pare,
696I wold the knaue had be~ starke blind, if hodg
697had not his share.

698Hodge Cham meetly wel sped alredy amongs, cham
699drest like a coult
700And chad not had the better wit, chad bene made
701a doult.

702Bayly Sir knaue make hast diccon were here, fetch
703him where euer he bee

704Chat Fie on the villaine, fie, fie, yt makes vs thus
705agree,

706Ga~mer Fie on him knaue, with al my hart, now fie, and
707fie againe.

708D. Rat Now fie on him may I best say, whom he hath
709almost slaine.

710Bayly Lo where he commeth at hand, belike he was not
711fare
712Diccon heare be two or three, thy company can
713not spare.

714Diccon God blesse you, and you may be blest so many
715al at once

716Chat Come knaue, it were a good deed to geld the
717by cockes bones
718Seest not thy handiwarke? sir Rat can ye forbeare
719him?

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720Diccon A ve~geance on those hands lite, for my ha~ds
721cam not nere hym
722The horsen priest hath lift the pot, in some of
723these ale wyves chayres
724That his head wolde not serue him, belyke to
725come downe the stayres.

726Baily Nay soft, thou maist not play ye knaue, & haue
727this language to
728If thou thy tong bridle a while, the better maist
729thou do,
730Confesse the truth as I shall aske, and cease a
731while to fable.
732And for thy fault I promise the, thy handling
733shalbe reasonable
734Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these two
735by the eares?

736Diccon What if I haue? fiue hundred such haue I seene
737within these seuen yeares:
738I am sory for nothing else but that I see not the
739sport
740Which was betwene them whe~ they met, as they
741the~ selues report

742Bayly The greatest thing master rat, ye se how he is
743drest.

744Diccon What deuil nede he be groping so depe, in goodwife
745Chats he~s nest

746Bayly Yea but it was thy drift to bring him into ye
747briars.

748Diccon Gods bread, hath not such an old foole, wit to
749saue his eares?
750He showeth himselfe herein ye see, so very a
751coxe,
752The Cat was not so madly alured by the Foxe,
753To run into the snares, was set for him doubtlesse,
754For he leapt in for myce, and this sir Iohn for
755madnes.

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756D. Rat Well and ye shift no better, ye losel, lyther, and
757lasye,
758I will go neare for this, to make ye leape at a
759Dasye.
760In the kings name master Bayly, I charge you set
761him fast.

762Diccon What fast at cardes, or fast on slepe? it is the
763thing I did last.

764D. Rat Nay fast in fetters false varlet, according to thy
765needesdeedes.

766Bayly Master doctor ther is no remedy, I must intreat
767you needes
768Some other kinde of punishment,

769D. Rat Nay by all Halowes,
770His punishme~t if I may iudg, shalbe naught els
771but the gallous.

772Bayly That were to sore, a spiritual man to be so
773extreame.

774D. Rat Is he worthy any better, sir how do ye iudge
775and deame?

776Bayly I graunt him worthie punishment, but in no wise
777so great.

778Ga~mer It is a shame ich tel you plaine, for such false
779knaues intreat
780He has almost vndone vs al, that is as true as
781steele:
782And yet for al this great ado 'cham neuer the
783nere my neele.

784Bayly Canst yu not say any thing to that diccon, with
785least or most?

786Diccon Yea mary sir, thus much I can say wel, the
787nedle is lost,

788Bayly Nay canst not thou tel which way, that nedle
789may be found

790Diccon No by my fay sir, though I might haue an
791hundred pound.

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792Hodge Thou lier lickdish, didst not say the neele wold
793be gitten?

794Diccon No hodge, by the same token, you where that
795time beshitten?
796ForfeareFor feare of Hobgobling, you wot wel what I meane,
797As long as it is sence, I feare me yet ye be scarce
798cleane.

799Bayly Wel master rat, you must both learne, & teach
800vs to forgeue
801Since Diccon hath confession made, & is so cleane
802shreue,
803If ye to me conscent, to amend this heauie chaunce,
804I wil inioyne him here, some open kind of penaunce:
805Of this condition, where ye know my fee is twenty
806pence
807For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here
808to dispence,
809Ye shal go quite, so that ye graunt, the matter
810now to run,
811To end with mirth emong vs al, euen as it was
812begun.

813Chat Say yea master vicar, & he shal sure confes to be
814your detter
815And al we that be heare present, wil loue you
816much the better

817D. Rat My part is the worst, but since you al here on agree.
818Go euen to master Bayly, let it be so for mee,

819Bayly How saiest thou diccon, art content this shal
820on me depend

821Diccon Go to M. Bayly say on your mind, I know ye are
822my frend?

823Bayly Then marke ye wel, to recompence this thy
824former action
825Because thou hast offended al, to make them
826satisfaction,

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827Before their faces, here kneele downe, & as I shal
828the teach.
829For thou shalt take on othe, of hodges leather
830breache
831First for master Doctor, vpon paine of his cursse,
832Where he wil pay for al, thou neuer draw thy
833pursse,
834And when ye meete at one pot, he shal haue the
835first pull,
836And thou shalt neuer offer him the cup, but it be
837full.
838To goodwife chat thou shalt be sworne, euen on
839the same wyse
840If she refuse thy money once, neuer to offer it
841twise.
842Thou shalt be bound by the same here, as thou
843dost take it
844When thou maist drinke of free cost, thou neuer
845forsake it:
846For gammer gurtons sake, againe sworne shalt
847thou bee
848To helpe hir to hir nedle againe if it do lie in thee
849And likewise be bound: by the vertue of that
850To be of good abering to Gib hir great Cat:
851Last of al for Hodge, the othe to scanne,
852Thou shalt neuer take him, for fine gentleman.

853Hodge Come on fellow Diccon chalbe euen with thee
854now.

855Bayly Thou wilt not sticke to do this Diccon I trow.

856Diccon No by my fathers skin, my hand downe I lay it?
857Loke as I haue promised, I wil not denay it,
858But Hodge take good heede now, thou do not
859beshite me.
860And gaue him a good blow on the buttocke.

861Hodge Gogs hart thou false villaine dost thou bite me?

862Bayly What Hodge doth he hurt the or euer he begin.

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863Hodge He thrust me into the buttocke, with a bodkin
864or a pin,
865I saie Gammer, Gammer?

866Ga~mer How now Hodge, how now:

867Hodge Gods malt Gammer gurton.

868Ga~mer Thou art mad ich trow.

869Hodge Will you see the deuil Gammer.

870Ga~mer The deuil sonne, god blesse vs.

871Hodge Chould iche were hanged Gammer.

872Ga~mer Mary so ye might dresse vs.

873Hodge Chaue it by the masse Gammer

874Ga~mer What not my neele Hodge?

875Hodge Your Neele Gammer, your neele.

876Ga~mer No fie, dost but dodge.

877Hodge Cha found your neele Gammer, here in my hand
878be it.

879Ga~mer For al the loues on earth Hodge, let me see it.

880Hodge Soft Gammer.

881Ga~mer Good Hodge.

882Hodge Soft ich say, tarie a while.

883Ga~mer Nay sweete Hodge say truth, and do not me begile.

884Hodge Cham sure on it ich warrant you: it goes no
885more a stray

886Ga~mer Hodge when I speake so faire: wilt stil say me
887nay:

888Hodge Go neare the light gammer, this wel in faith
889good lucke:
890Chwas almost vndone: twas so far in my buttocke

891Ga~mer Tis min owne deare neele Hodge, sykerly I wot

892Hodge Cham I not a good sonne gammer, cham I not,

893Ga~mer Christs blessing light on thee, hast made me for
894euer

895Hodge Ich knew that ich must finde it, els choud a
896had it neuer.

897Chat By my troth Gossyp gurton, I am euen as glad
898As though I mine owne selfe as good a turne had:

page 70


899Bayly And I by my concience, to see it so come forth,
900Reioyce so much at it, as three nedles be worth.

901D. Rat I am no whit sory to see you so reioyce.

902Diccon Nor I much the gladder for al this noyce:
903Yet say gramercy Diccon, for springing of the
904game.

905Ga~mer Grammercy Diccon twenty times, o how glad
906cham,
907It that chould do so much, your masterdome to
908come hether,
909Master Rat, goodwife Chat, and Diccon together:
910Cha but one halfpeny, as far as iche know it,
911And chil not rest this night, till ich bestow it.
912If euer ye loue me, let vs go in and drinke.

913Bayly I am content if the rest thinke as I thinke?
914Master Rat it shalbe best for you if we so doo,
915Then shall you warme you and dresse your self too.

916Diccon Soft syrs, take vs with you, the company shalbe
917the more,
918As proude coms behinde they say, as any goes
919before,
920But now my good masters since we must be gone
921And leaue you behinde vs, here all alone:
922Since at our last ending thus mery we bee,
923For Gammer Gurtons nedle sake, let vs haue a
924plaudytie.

925
926
Finis , Gurton. Perused and alowed, &c.