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page 1

ACT I. SCENE I.

2
3

SCENE, AN INN.

4
5Enter Bonniface running .

6Bon. Chamberlain, Maid, Cherry , Daughter Cherry , all
7asleep, all dead?
8Enter Cherry running .
9 Cherry, Here, here, Why d'ye baul so, Father? dy'e think
10we have no Ears?

11Bon. You deserve to have none, you young Minx; - The
12Company of the Warrington Coach has stood in the Hall this
13Hour, and no Body to shew them to their Chambers.

14Cher. And let 'em wait farther; there's neither Red-Coat in
15the Coach, nor Footman behind it.

16Bon. But they threaten to go to another Inn to Night.

17Cher. That they dare not, for fear the Coachman should overturn
18them to Morrow - Coming, coming: Here's the London
19Coach arriv'd.

20Enter several People with Trunks, Band-boxes, and other
21Luggage, and cross the Stage.

22Bon. Welcome, Ladies.

23Cher. Very welcome, Gentlemen - Chamberlain, shew the
24Lyon and the Rose .

25Exit with the Company.
26Enter Aimwell in riding Habit , Archer as Footman
27carrying a Portmantle .

28Bon. This way, this way, Gentlemen.

29Aim. Set down the things, go to the Stable, and see my
30Horses well rubb'd.

31Arch. I shall, Sir.

32Exit.

page 2

33Aim. You're my Landlord, I suppose?

34Bon. Yes, Sir, I'm old Will. Bonniface , pretty well known
35upon this Road, as the saying is.

36Aim. O Mr. Bonniface , your Servant.

37Bon. O Sir - What will your Honour please to drink, as the
38saying is?

39Aim. I have heard your Town of Litchfield much fam'd for
40Ale, I think I'll taste that.

41Bon. Sir, I have now in my Cellar Ten Tun of the best Ale
42in Staffordshire ; 'tis smooth as Oil, sweet as Milk, clear as Amber,
43and strong as Brandy; and will be just Fourteen Year old
44the Fifth Day of next March old Stile.

45Aim. You're very exact, I find, in the Age of your Ale.

46Bon. As punctual, Sir, as I am in the Age of my Children:
47I'll shew you such Ale - Here, Tapster, broach Number 1706.
48as the saying is; - Sir, you shall taste my Anno Domini ; - I
49have liv'd in Litchfield Man and Boy above Eight and fifty Years,
50and I believe have not consum'd Eight and fifty Ounces of Meat.

51Aim. At a Meal, you mean, if one may guess your Sense by
52your Bulk.

53Bon.     Not in my Life, Sir, I have fed purely upon Ale; I
54have eat my Ale, drank my Ale, and I always sleep upon Ale.
55Enter Tapster with a Bottle and Glass.
56    Now, Sir, you shall see
57( filling it out )
58    your Worship's Health;
59ha! delicious, delicious, - fancy it Burgundy , only fancy it,
60and 'tis worth Ten Shillings a Quart.

61Aim.
62( Drinks. )
63 'Tis confounded strong.

64Bon. Strong! It must be so, or how should we be strong that
65drink it?

66Aim. And have you liv'd so long upon this Ale, Landlord?

67Bon. Eight and fifty Years, upon my Credit, Sir; but it kill'd
68my Wife, poor Woman, as the saying is.

69Aim. How came that to pass?

70Bon. I don't know how, Sir; she would not let the Ale take
71its natural Course, Sir, she was for qualifying it every now and
72then with a Dram, as the saying is; and an honest Gentleman
73that came this way from Ireland , made her a Present of a dozen
74Bottles of Usquebaugh - But the poor Woman was never well
75after: But howe're, I was obliged to the Gentleman, you know.

76Aim. Why, was it the Usquebaugh that kill'd her?

page 3

77Bon. My Lady Bountyful said so, - She, good Lady, did
78what could be done, she cured her of Three Tympanies, but
79the Fourth carry'd her off; but she's happy, and I'm contented,
80as the saying is.

81Aim. Who's that Lady Bountyful , you mention'd?

82Bon. Ods my life, Sir, we'll drink her Health.
83( Drinks )
84 My
85Lady Bountyful is one of the best of Women: Her last Husband
86Sir Charles Bountyful left her worth a Thousand Pound a Year;
87and I believe she lays out one half on't in charitable Uses for the
88Good of her Neighbours; she cures Rheumatisms, Ruptures, and
89broken Shins in Men, Green Sickness, Obstructions, and Fits of
90the Mother in Women; - The Kings-Evil, Chin-Cough, and
91Chilblains in Children; in short, she has cured more People in
92and about Litchfield within Ten Years than the Doctors have
93kill'd in Twenty; and that's a bold Word.

94Aim. Has the Lady been any other way useful in her
95Generation?

96Bon. Yes, Sir, She has a Daughter by Sir Charles , the finest
97Woman in all our Country, and the greatest Fortune. She has
98a Son too by her first Husband Squire Sullen , who marry'd a fine
99Lady from London t'other day; if you please, Sir, we'll drink
100his Health?

101Aim. What sort of a Man is he?

102Bon. Why, Sir, the Man's well enough; says little, thinks less,
103and does - nothing at all, Faith: But he's a Man of great Estate,
104and values no Body.

105Aim. A Sportsman, I suppose.

106Bon. Yes, Sir, he's a Man of Pleasure, he plays at Whisk,
107and smoaks his Pipe Eight and forty Hours together sometimes.

108Aim. And marry'd, you say?
109Bon, Ay, and to a curious Woman, Sir, - But he's a
110- He wants it, here, Sir.
111Pointing to his Forehead.

112Aim. He has it there, you mean.

113Bon. That's none of my Business, he's my Landlord, and so
114a Man you know, wou'd not, - But - I cod, he's no better
115than - Sir, my humble Service to you.
116( Drinks. )
117 Tho' I value
118not a Farthing what he can do to me; I pay him his Rent at
119Quarter day, I have a good running Trade, I have but one
120Daughter, and I can give her - But no matter for that.

121Aim. You're very happy, Mr. Bonniface , pray what other
122Company have you in Town?

page 4

123Bon. A power of fine Ladies, and then we have the French
124Officers.

125Aim. O that's right, you have a good many of those Gentlemen:
126Pray how do you like their Company?

127Bon. So well, as the saying is, that I cou'd wish we had as
128many more of 'em, they're full of Money, and pay double for
129every thing they have; they know, Sir, that we pay'd good
130round Taxes for the taking of 'em, and so they are willing to
131reimburse us a little; one of 'em lodges in my House.

132Enter Archer.

133Arch. Landlord, there are some French Gentlemen below that
134ask for you.

135Bon. I'll wait on 'em; - Does your Master stay long in
136Town, as the saying is?
137To Archer.

138Arch. I can't tell, as the saying is.

139Bon. Come from London ?

140Arch. No.

141Bon. Going to London , may hap?

142Arch. No.

143Bon. An odd Fellow this. I beg your Worship's Pardon, I'll
144wait on you in half a Minute.
145Exit.

146Aim. The Coast's clear, I see, - Now my dear Archer , welcome
147to Litchfield .

148Arch. I thank thee, my dear Brother in Iniquity.

149Aim. Iniquity! prithee leave Canting, you need not change
150your Stile with your Dress.

151Arch. Don't mistake me, Aimwell , for 'tis still my Maxim,
152that there is no Scandal like Rags, nor any Crime so shameful as
153Poverty.

154Aim. The World confesses it every Day in its Practice, tho'
155Men won't own it for their Opinion: Who did that worthy
156Lord, my Brother, single out of the Side-box to sup with him
157t'other Night?

158Arch. Jack Handycraft , a handsom, well dress'd, mannerly,
159sharping Rogue, who keeps the best Company in Town.

160Aim. Right, and pray who marry'd my Lady Manslaughter
161t'other Day, the great Fortune?

162Arch. Why, Nick Marrabone , a profess'd Pick-pocket, and a
163good Bowler; but he makes a handsom Figure, and rides in his
164Coach, that he formerly used to ride behind.

page 5

165Aim. But did you observe poor Jack Generous in the Park last
166Week?

167Arch. Yes, with his Autumnal Perriwig, shading his melancholly
168Face, his Coat older than any thing but its Fashion, with
169one Hand idle in his Pocket, and with the other picking his
170useless Teeth; and tho' the Mall was crowded with Company,
171yet was poor Jack as single and solitary as a Lyon in a Desart.

172Aim. And as much avoided, for no Crime upon Earth but the
173want of Money.

174Arch. And that's enough; Men must not be poor, Idleness is
175the Root of all Evil; the World's wide enough, let 'em bustle;
176Fortune has taken the weak under her Protection, but Men of
177Sense are left to their Industry.

178Aim. Upon which Topick we proceed, and I think luckily
179hitherto: Wou'd not any Man swear now that I am a Man of
180Quality, and you my Servant, when if our intrinsick Value were
181known -

182Arch. Come, come, we are the Men of intrinsick Value, who
183can strike our Fortunes out of our selves, whose worth is independent
184of Accidents in Life, or Revolutions in Government;
185we have Heads to get Money, and Hearts to spend it.

186Aim. As to our Hearts, I grant'ye, they are as willing Tits as
187any within Twenty Degrees; but I can have no great opinion
188of our Heads from the Service they have done us hitherto, unless
189it be that they have brought us from London hither to Litchfield ,
190made me a Lord, and you my Servant.

191Arch. That's more than you cou'd expect already. But what
192Money have we left?

193Aim. But Two hundred Pound.

194Arch. And our Horses, Cloaths, Rings, &c. why we have
195very good Fortunes now for moderate People; and let me tell
196you, besides Thousand, that this Two hundred Pound, with the
197experience that we are now Masters of, is a better Estate than the
198Ten we have spent. - Our Friends indeed began to suspect that
199our Pockets were low; but we came off with flying Colours,
200shew'd no signs of want either in Word or Deed.

201Aim. Ay, and our going to Brussels was a good Pretence
202enough for our sudden disappearing; and I warrant you, our
203Friends imagine that we are gone a volunteering.

204Arch. Why Faith, if this Prospect fails, it must e'en come to

page 6

205that, I am for venturing one of the Hundreds if you will upon
206this Knight-Errantry; but in case it should fail, we'll reserve the
207t'other to carry us to some Counterscarp, where we may die as
208we liv'd in a Blaze.

209Aim. With all my Heart; and we have liv'd justly, Archer , we
210can't say that we have spent our Fortunes, but that we have enjoy'd
211'em.

212Arch. Right, so much Pleasure for so much Money, we have
213had our Penyworths, and had I Millions, I wou'd go to the
214same Market again. O London, London ! well, we have had
215our share, and let us be thankful; Past Pleasures, for ought I
216know are best, such as we are sure of, those to come may disappoint
217us.

218Aim. It has often griev'd the Heart of me, to see how some
219inhumane Wretches murther their kind Fortunes; those that by
220sacrificing all to one Appetite, shall starve all the rest. - You shall
221have some that live only in their Palates, and in their sense of
222tasting shall drown the other Four: Others are only Epicures in
223Appearances, such who shall starve their Nights to make a Figure
224a Days, and famish their own to feed the Eyes of others: A contrary
225Sort confine their Pleasure to the dark, and contract their
226spacious Acres to the Circuit of a Muff-string.

227Arch. Right; but they find the Indies in that Spot where they
228consume 'em, and I think your kind Keepers have much the best
229on't; for they indulge the most Senses by one Expence, there's
230the Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling amply gratify'd; and some Philosophers
231will tell you, that from such a Commerce there arises
232a sixth Sense that gives infinitely more Pleasure than the other
233five put together.

234Aim. And to pass to the other Extremity, of all Keepers, I
235think those the worst that keep their Money.

236Arch. Those are the most miserable Wights in being, they
237destroy the Rights of Nature, and disappoint the Blessings of
238Providence: Give me a Man that keeps his Five Senses keen and
239bright as his Sword, that has 'em always drawn out in their just
240order and strength, with his Reason as Commander at the Head
241of 'em, that detaches 'em by turns upon whatever Party of Pleasure
242agreeably offers, and commands 'em to retreat upon the
243least Appearance of Disadvantage or Danger: - For my part I
244can stick to my Bottle, while my Wine, my Company, and my

page 7

245Reason holds good; I can be charm'd with Sappho's singing
246without falling in Love with her Face; I love Hunting, but
247wou'd not, like Acteon , be eaten up by my own Dogs; I love a
248fine House, but let another keep it; and just so I love a fine
249Woman.

250Aim. In that last particular you have the better of me.

251Arch. Ay, you're such an amorous Puppy, that I'm afraid
252you'll spoil our Sport; you can't counterfeit the Passion without
253feeling it.

254Aim. Tho' the whining part be out of doors in Town, 'tis
255still in force with the Country Ladies; - And let me tell you
256Frank , the Fool in that Passion shall outdoe the Knave at any time.

257Arch. Well, I won't dispute it now, you Command for the
258Day, and so I submit; - At Nottingham you know I am to
259be Master.

260Aim. And at Lincoln I again.

261Arch. Then at Norwich I mount, which, I think, shall be our
262last Stage; for if we fail there, we'll imbark for Holland , bid
263adieu to Venus , and welcome Mars .

264Aim. A Match!
265( Enter Bonniface.)
266 Mum.

267Bon. What will your Worship please to have for Supper?

268Aim. What have you got?

269Bon. Sir, we have a delicate piece of Beef in the Pot, and a
270Pig at the Fire.

271Aim. Good Supper-meat, I must confess, - I can't eat Beef,
272Landlord.

273Arch. And I hate Pig.

274Aim. Hold your prating, Sirrah, do you know who you are?

275Bon. Please to bespeak something else, I have every thing in
276the House.

277Aim. Have you any Veal?

278Bon. Veal! Sir, we had a delicate Loin of Veal on Wednesday
279last.

280Aim. Have you got any Fish or Wildfowl?

281Bon. As for Fish, truly Sir, we are an inland Town, and indifferently
282provided with Fish, that's the Truth ont, and then
283for Wildfowl, - We have a delicate Couple of Rabbets.

284Aim. Get me the Rabbets fricasy'd.

285Bon. Fricasy'd! Lard, Sir, they'll eat much better smother'd
286with Onions.

page 8

287Arch. Pshaw! damn your Onions.

288Aim. Again, Sirrah! - Well, Landlord, what you please;
289but hold, I have a small Charge of Money, and your House is
290so full of Strangers, that I believe it may be safer in your Custody
291than mine; for when this Fellow of mine gets drunk, he
292minds nothing. - Here, Sirrah, reach me the strong Box.

293Arch. Yes, Sir, - This will give us a Reputation.
294Aside.
295Brings the box.

296Aim. Here, Landlord, the Locks are sealed down both for
297your Security and mine; it holds somewhat above Two hundred
298Pound; if you doubt it, I'll count it to you after Supper;
299but be sure you lay it where I may have it at a Minute's warning;
300for my Affairs are a little dubious at present, perhaps I may be
301gone in half an Hour, perhaps I may be your Guest till the best
302part of that be spent; and pray order your Ostler to keep my
303Horses always sadled; but one thing above the rest I must beg,
304that you would let this Fellow have none of your Anno Domini ,
305as you call it; - For he's the most insufferable Sot - Here,
306Sirrah, light me to my Chamber.

307Exit lighted by Archer.

308Bon. Cherry , Daughter Cherry ?

309Enter Cherry.

310Cher. D'ye call, Father?

311Bon. Ay, Child, you must lay by this Box for the Gentleman,
312'tis full of Money.

313Cher. Money! all that Money! why, sure Father the Gentleman
314comes to be chosen Parliament-man. Who is he?

315Bon. I don't know what to make of him, he talks of keeping
316his Horses ready sadled, and of going perhaps at a minute's
317warning, or of staying perhaps till the best part of this be spent.

318Cher. Ay, ten to one, Father, he's a High-way-man.

319Bon. A High-way-man! upon my Life, Girl, you have hit it,
320and this Box is some new purchased Booty. - Now cou'd we find
321him out, the Money were ours.

322Cher. He don't belong to our Gang?

323Bon. What Horses have they?

324Cher. The Master rides upon a Black.

325Bon. A Black! ten to one the Man upon the black Mare; and
326since he don't belong to our Fraternity, we may betray him with
327a safe Conscience; I don't think it lawful to harbour any Rogues
328but my own. - Look'ye, Child, as the saying is, we must

page 9

329go cunningly to work, Proofs we must have, the Gentleman's
330Servant loves Drink, I'll ply him that way, and ten to one loves
331a Wench; you must work him t'other way.

332Cher. Father, would you have me give my Secret for his?

333Bon. Consider, Child, there's Two hundred Pound to Boot.
334( Ringing without. )
335 Coming, coming. - Child, mind your
336Business.

337Cher. What a Rogue is my Father! my Father! I deny it.
338- My Mother was a good, generous, free-hearted Woman,
339and I can't tell how far her good Nature might have extended
340for the good of her Children. This Landlord of mine, for I
341think I can call him no more, would betray his Guest, and debauch
342his Daughter into the bargain, - By a Footman too!

343Enter Archer.

page 58

344

SCENE, CHANGES TO A BED-CHAMBER IN LADY BOUNTIFUL'S
345HOUSE.

346
347Enter Mrs. Sull. Dor. undress'd, a Table and Lights .

348Dor. 'Tis very late, Sister, no News of your Spouse yet?

349Mrs. Sull. No, I'm condemn'd to be alone till towards four,
350and then perhaps I may be executed with his Company.

351Dor. Well, my Dear, I'll leave you to your rest; you'll go directly
352to Bed, I suppose.

353Mrs. Sull. I don't know what to do? hey-hoe.

354Dor. That's a desiring Sigh, Sister.

355Mrs. Sull. This is a languishing Hour, Sister.

356Dor. And might prove a Critical Minute, if the pretty Fellow
357were here.

358Mrs. Sull. Here! what, in my Bed-chamber, at two a Clock
359o'th' Morning, I undress'd, the Family asleep, my hated Husband
360abroad, and my lovely Fellow at my Feet - O gad, Sister!

361Dor. Thoughts are free, Sister, and them I allow you - So,
362my Dear, good Night.

363Mrs. Sull.     A good Rest to my dear Dorinda - Thoughts
364free! are they so? why then suppose him here, dress'd like a
365youthful, gay and burning Bridegroom. ( Here Archer steals out
366of the Closet .)     with Tongue enchanting, Eyes bewitching, Knees
367imploring.
368( Turns a little o' one side, and sees Archer in the Posture
369she describes .)
370    Ah!
371( Shreeks, and runs to the other Side of
372the Stage )
373    Have my Thoughts rais'd a Spirit? - What are you,
374Sir, a Man or a Devil?

375Arch. A Man, a Man, Madam.
376Rising.

377Mrs. Sull. How shall I be sure of it?

378Arch. Madam, I'll give you Demonstration this Minute.
379Takes her Hand.

380Mrs. Sull. What, Sir! do you intend to be rude?

381Arch. Yes, Madam, if you please.

382Mrs. Sull. In the Name of Wonder, Whence came ye?

383Arch. From the Skies, Madam - I'm a Jupiter in Love,
384and you shall be my Alimena .

385Mrs. Sull. How came you in?

page 59

386Arch. I flew in at the Window, Madam, your Cozen Cupid lent
387me his Wings, and your Sister Venus open'd the Casement.

388Mrs. Sull. I'm struck dumb with Admiration.

389Arch. And I with wonder.
390Looks passionately at her.

391Mrs. Sull. What will become of me?

392Arch. How beautiful she looks - The teeming Jolly Spring
393Smiles in her blooming Face, and when she was conceiv'd, her
394Mother smelt to Roses, look'd on Lillies -

395Lillies unfold their white, their fragrant Charms,
396When the warm Sun thus Darts into their Arms.

397Runs to her.

398Mrs. Sull. Ah!
399( Shreeks. )

400Arch. Oons, Madam, what d'ye mean? you'll raise the
401House.

402Mrs. Sull. Sir, I'll wake the Dead before I bear this -
403What! approach me with the Freedoms of a Keeper; I'm glad
404on't, your Impudence has cur'd me.

405Arch. If this be Impudence
406( Kneels )
407 I leave to your partial
408self; no panting Pilgrim after a tedious, painful Voyage, e'er
409bow'd before his Saint with more Devotion.

410Mrs. Sull. Now, now, I'm ruin'd, if he kneels!
411( Aside )
412 rise
413thou prostrate Ingineer, not all thy undermining Skill shall
414reach my Heart - Rise, and know, I am a Woman without
415my Sex, I can love to all the Tenderness of Wishes, Sighs
416and Tears - But go no farther - Still to convince you
417that I'm more than Woman, I can speak my Frailty, confess my
418Weakness even for you - But -

419Arch. For me!
420Going to lay hold on her.

421Mrs. Sull. Hold, Sir, build not upon that - For my most mortal
422hatred follows if you disobey what I command you now -
423leave me this Minute - If he denies, I'm lost.
424Aside.

425Arch. Then you'll promise -

426Mrs. Sull. Any thing another time.

427Arch. When shall I come?

428Mrs. Sull. To Morrow when you will.

429Arch. Your Lips must seal the Promise.

430Mrs. Sull. Pshaw!

431Arch. They must, they must
432( Kisses her )
433 Raptures and Paradice!
434and why not now, my Angel? the Time, the Place,

page 60

435Silence and Secresy, all conspire - And the now conscious
436Stars have preordain'd this Moment for my Happiness.
437Takes her in her Arms.

438Mrs. Sull. You will not, cannot sure.

439Arch. If the Sun rides fast, and disappoints not Mortals of to
440Morrow's Dawn, this Night shall crown my Joys.

441Mrs. Sull. My Sex's Pride assist me.

442Arch. My Sex's Strength help me.

443Mrs. Sull. You shall kill me first.

444Arch. I'll dye with you.
445Carrying her off.

446Mrs. Sull. Thieves, Thieves, Murther -

447Enter Scrub in his Breeches, and one Shoe .

448Scrub. Thieves, Thieves, Murther, Popery.

449Arch. Ha! the very timorous Stag will kill in rutting time.
450Draws and offers to Stab Scrub.

451Scrub.
452( Kneeling. )
453 O, Pray, Sir, spare all I have and take
454my Life.

455Mrs. Sull.
456( Holding Archer's Hand .)
457 what do's the Fellow mean?

458Scrub. O, Madam, down upon your Knees, your Marrow-bones -
459He's one of 'um.

460Arch. Of whom?

461Scrub. One of the Rogues - I beg your Pardon, Sir, one of the
462honest Gentlemen that just now are broke into the House.

463Arch. How!

464Mrs. Sull. I hope, you did not come to rob me?

465Arch. Indeed I did, Madam, but I wou'd have taken nothing
466but what you might ha' spar'd, but your crying Thieves has
467wak'd this dreaming Fool, and so he takes 'em for granted.

468Scrub. Granted! 'tis granted, Sir, take all we have.

469Mrs. Sull. The Fellow looks as if he were broke out of Bedlam .

470Scrub. Oons, Madam, they're broke in to the House with Fire
471and Sword, I saw them, heard them, they'll be here this Minute.

472Arch. What, Thieves!

473Scrub. Under Favour, Sir, I think so.

474Mrs. Sull. What shall we do, Sir?

475Arch. Madam, I wish your Ladyship a good Night.

476Mrs. Sull. Will you leave me?

477Arch. Leave you! Lord, Madam, did not you command me
478to be gone just now upon pain of your immortal Hatred.

479Mrs. Sull. Nay, but pray, Sir -
480Takes hold of him.

page 61

481Arch. Ha ha, ha, now comes my turn to be ravish'd. - You
482see now, Madam, you must use Men one way or other; but take
483this by the way, good Madam, that none but a Fool will give
484you the benefit of his Courage, unless you'll take his Love along
485with it. - How are they arm'd, Friend?

486Scrub. With Sword and Pistol, Sir.

487Arch. Hush - I see a dark Lanthorn coming thro' the Gallery.
488- Madam, be assur'd I will protect you, or lose my Life.

489Mrs. Sull. Your Life! no, Sir, they can rob me of nothing
490that I value half so much; therefore, now, Sir, let me intreat
491you to be gone.

492Arch. No, Madam, I'll consult my own Safety for the sake
493of yours, I'll work by Stratagem: Have you Courage enough to
494stand the appearance of 'em.

495Mrs. Sull. Yes, yes, since I have scap'd your Hands, I can face
496any thing.

497Arch. Come hither, Brother Scrub , don't you know me?

498Scrub. Eh! my dear Brother, let me kiss thee.
499Kisses Archer.

500Arch. This way - Here -
501Archer and Scrub hide behind the Bed.

502Enter Gibbet with a dark Lanthorn in one Hand
503and a Pistol in t'other.

504Gib. Ay, ay, this is the Chamber, and the Lady alone.

505Mrs. Sull. Who are you, Sir? what wou'd you have? d'ye
506come to rob me?

507Gib,     Rob you! alack a day, Madam, I'm only a younger
508Brother, Madam; and so, Madam, if you make a Noise, I'll
509shoot you thro' the Head; but don't be afraid, Madam.
510Laying his Lanthorn and Pistol upon the Table.
511    These Rings, Madam, don't be concern'd, Madam, I have a
512profound Respect for you, Madam; your Keys, Madam, don't
513be frighted, Madam, I'm the most of a Gentleman.
514Searching her Pockets.
515    This Necklace, Madam, I never was rude to a Lady; - I have a
516Veneration - for this Necklace -
517Here Archer having come round and seiz'd the Pistols, takes Gibbet
518by the Collar, trips up his Heels, and claps the Pistol to his Breast.

519Arch. Hold, profane Villain, and take the Reward of thy
520Sacrilege.

521Gib. Oh! Pray, Sir, don't kill me; I an't prepar'd.

522Arch. How many is there of 'em, Scrub ?

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523Scrub. Five and Forty, Sir.

524Arch. Then I must kill the Villain to have him out of the way.

525Gib. Hold, hold, Sir, we are but three upon my Honour.

526Arch. Scrub , will you undertake to secure him?

527Scrub. Not I, Sir; kill him, kill him.

528Arch. Run to Gipsey's Chamber, there you'll find the Doctor;
529bring him hither presently.
530Exit Scrub running.
531 Come, Rogue, if you have a short Prayer, say it.

532Gip. Sir, I have no Prayer at all; the Government has provided
533a Chaplain to say Prayers for us on these Occasions.

534Mrs. Sull. Pray, Sir, don't kill him; - You fright me as much
535as him.

536Arch. The Dog shall die, Madam, for being the Occasion of
537my disappointment. - Sirrah, this Moment is your last.

538Gib. Sir, I'll give you Two hundred Pound to spare my Life.

539Arch. Have you no more Rascal;

540Gib. Yes, Sir, I can command Four hundred; but I must reserve
541Two of 'em to save my Life at the Sessions.
542Enter Scrub and Foigard.

543Arch. Here, Doctor, I suppose Scrub and you between you
544may manage him. - Lay hold of him, Doctor.
545Foig. lays hold of Gibbet.

546Gib. What! turn'd over to the Priest already. - Look'ye,
547Doctor, you come before your time; I'ant condemn'd yet, I
548thank'ye.

549Foig. Come, my dear Joy, I vill secure your Body and your
550Shoul too; I vill make you a good Catholick, and give you an
551Absolution.

552Gib. Absolution! can you procure me a Pardon, Doctor?

553Foig. No, Joy. -

554Gib. Then you and your Absolution may go to the Devil.

555Arch. Convey him into the Cellar, there bind him: - Take
556the Pistol, and if he offers to resist, shoot him thro' the Head,
557- and come back to us with all the speed you can.

558Scrub. Ay, ay, come, Doctor, do you hold him fast, and I'll
559guard him.

560Mrs. Sull. But how came the Doctor?

561Arch. In short, Madam -
562( Shreeking without. )
563 S'death! the
564Rogues are at work with the other Ladies. - I'm vex'd I
565parted with the Pistol; but I must fly to their Assistance. -

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566Will you stay here, Madam, or venture your self with me.

567Mrs. Sull. O, with you, dear Sir, with you.
568Takes him by the Arm and Exeunt.
569

570

SCENE, CHANGES TO ANOTHER APARTMENT
571IN THE SAME HOUSE.

572
573Enter Hounslow dragging in Lady Bountyfull, and Bagshot
574halling in Dorinda; the Rogues with Swords drawn .

575Houn. Come, come, your Jewels, Mistriss.

576Bag. Your Keys, your Keys, old Gentlewoman.
577Enter Aimwell and Cherry.

578Aim. Turn this way, Villains; I durst engage an Army in
579such a Cause.
580He engages 'em both.

581Dor. O, Madam, had I but a Sword to help the brave Man?

582L. Boun. There's three or four hanging up in the Hall; but
583they won't draw. I'll go fetch one however.
584Exit.

585Enter Archer and Mrs. Sullen.

586Arch. Hold, hold, my Lord, every Man his Bird, pray.
587They engage Man to Man, the Rogues are thrown and disarm'd.

588Cher. What! the Rogues taken! then they'll impeach my
589Father; I must give him timely Notice.
590Runs out.

591Arch. Shall we kill the Rogues?

592Aim. No, no, we'll bind them.

593Arch. Ay, ay; here, Madam, lend me your Garter?
594To Mrs. Sullen who stands by him .

595Mrs. Sull. The Devil's in this Fellow; he fights, loves, and
596banters, all in a Breath. - Here's a Cord that the Rogues
597brought with 'em, I suppose.

598Arch.     Right, right, the Rogue's Destiny, a Rope to hang
599himself. - Come, my Lord, - This is but a scandalous sort
600of an Office,
601( Binding the Rogues together. )
602    if our Adventures
603shou'd end in this sort of Hangman-work; but I hope there is
604something in prospect that -
605( Enter Scrub.)
606    Well, Scrub ,
607have you secur'd your Tartar ?

608Scrub. Yes, Sir, I left the Priest and him disputing about
609Religion.

610Aim. And pray carry these Gentlemen to reap the Benefit of
611the Controversy.
612Delivers the Prisoners to Scrub, who leads 'em out .

613Mrs. Sull. Pray, Sister, how came my Lord here?

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614Dor. And pray, how came the Gentleman here?

615Mrs. Sull. I'll tell you the greatest piece of Villainy -
616They talk in dumb show.

617Aim. I fancy, Archer , you have been more successful in your
618Adventures than the House-breakers.

619Arch. No matter for my Adventure, yours is the principal. -
620Press her this Minute to marry you, - now while she's hurry'd
621between the Palpitation of her Fear, and the Joy of her
622Deliverance, now while the Tide of her Spirits are at High-flood -
623Throw your self at her Feet; speak some Romantick
624Nonsense or other; - Address her like Alexander in
625the height of his Victory, confound her Senses, bear down her
626Reason, and away with her - The Priest is now in the Cellar,
627and dare not refuse to do the work.

628Enter Lady Bountifull.

629Aim. But how shall I get off without being observ'd?

630Arch. You a Lover! and not find a way to get off - Let me see.

631Aim. You bleed, Archer .

632Arch. S'death, I'm glad on't; this Wound will do the Business -
633I'll amuse the old Lady and Mrs. Sullen about dressing
634my Wound, while you carry off Dorinda .

635L. Boun. Gentlemen, cou'd we understand how you wou'd be
636gratified for the Services -

637Arch. Come, come, my Lady, this is no time for Complements,
638I'm wounded, Madam.

639L. Boun.
Mrs. Sull. How! wounded!

640Dor. I hope, Sir, you have receiv'd no Hurt?

641Aim. None but what you may cure. -
642Makes Love in dumb show.

643L. Boun. Let me see your Arm, Sir. - I must have some
644Powder-sugar to stop the Blood - O me! an ugly Gash
645upon my Word, Sir, you must go into Bed.

646Arch. Ay, my Lady a Bed wou'd do very well. - Madam,
647( To Mrs. Sull.)
648 Will you do me the Favour to conduct me to a
649Chamber?

650L. Boun. Do, do, Daughter - while I get the Lint and
651the Probe and the Plaister ready.
652Runs out one way , Aimwell carries off Dorinda another .

653Arch. Come, Madam, why don't you obey your Mother's
654Commands.

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655Mrs. Sull. How can you, after what is past, have the Confidence
656to ask me?

657Arch. And if you go to that, how can you after what is past,
658have the Confidence to deny me? - Was not this Blood shed
659in your Defence, and my Life expos'd for your Protection. -
660Look'ye, Madam, I'm none of your Romantick Fools, that
661fight Gyants and Monsters for nothing; my Valour is down
662right Swiss ; I'm a Soldier of Fortune and must be paid.

663Mrs. Sull. 'Tis ungenerous in you, Sir, to upbraid me with
664your Services.

665Arch. 'Tis ungenerous in you, Madam, not to reward 'em.

666Mrs. Sull. How! at the Expence of my Honour.

667Arch. Honour! can Honour consist with Ingratitude? if you
668wou'd deal like a Woman of Honour, do like a Man of Honour,
669d'ye think I wou'd deny you in such a Case?
670Enter a Servant.

671Ser. Madam, my Lady order'd me to tell you that your Brother
672is below at the Gate?

673Mrs. Sull. My Brother? Heavens be prais'd. - Sir, he shall
674thank you for your Services, he has it in his Power.

675Arch. Who is your Brother, Madam?

676Mrs. Sull. Sir Charles Freeman . - You'll excuse me, Sir; I
677must go and receive him.

678Arch. Sir Charles Freeman! S'death and Hell! - My old Acquaintance.
679Now unless Aimwell has made good use of his time, all
680our fair Machine goes souse into the Sea like the Edistone .
681Exit.